Misty's FMA Funnies
by Misty The Awesome
Summary: A random collection of Fullmetal Alchemist crazyness. T for language and total oddness.
1. when Kiwis Attack Oo

**Alrighty! This is my first fic, so it might not be the best. Grantit, it's a little…. Ehhhh… but I wanted to get it out there. So, alas, here it is.**

**Disclaimer I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of it's people… or anything else used in this story… except me. And my family…**

**Warning: Exreamly weird and random. O.o Retarted, too.**

"Mrrr…" Ed mumbled, waking up from a shallow sleep. He opened his eyes and saw a table. She sat up and his eye twitched. "Great. Another neck ache. Another night staring at books. Another falling-asleep-at-the-table. Another--…. No, that's it."

"'Morning, Ed!" Al said, walking downstairs wearing Spiderman Pajamas. They were watching Winry and Pinako's house for a while. The two Rockbells needed to go and pick up some new automail parts in another City, and, it just so happens that Al and Ed came for a checkup on Ed's arm and leg! So, of course, Winry convinced them to stay and keep an eye on the house and Den.

"Whatever" Ed mumbled, moving his head side to side. "ow" he mumbled.

"Fall asleep at the table again?" Al asked, walking to the refridgorator.

"Uh huh" Ed sighed.

"What the?"

"What is it?" Ed turned his head to his brother who was staring into the fridge. "Al?... Al?.. Hey! Alphonse!"

"B-b-b-b…. Brother… there's… kiwi. Everywhere…" Al murmered, staring in disbalife. Ed blinked, confsued.

"What the hell are you talking about, Al?" he asked, standing up. Al pulled out the milk jug, which was filled with kiwi fuits. Ed's eyes widened. Al squeaked

"Brother, it moved!" he said, startled.

"What do you mean 'it moved'!" Ed yelled, eyes wide as Al dropped the jug on the table. The jug shivered like a cold pig **(A/N: it's five in the morning, by the way O.o)**. Al shreaiked like a little girl and Ed blinked.

"BROTHER! THE KIWIS ARE REVOLTING!" Al yelled, hiding behind his brother.

"no, I actualy think they're kinda cute… maybe they'd make good pets." Ed said, nodding slowly.

"Brother! Tha'ts not what I – AH! THEY GOT OUT!" Al screamed. And just as the younger of the Elrics had said, the kiwis had bursted out of the plastic jug. "HOLY--! THEY'RE MULTIPLYING!" Al yelled as the 20 kiwis were suddenly 50.

"Damn, this is weird" Ed mumbled, staring at the kiwis. They paused. Al looked shocked and freaked out, and Ed looking… well, bored. "I'm hungry" he said flatly.

"Then eat the kiwis!" Al yelled, scared half to death of the moving, multiplying kiwis.

"No way! Those suckers 're evil!" Ed said.

"WE HAVE TO CALL SOMEONE!" Al shouted, grabbing the phonse.

"Who ya gonna call?" Ed asked. Suddenly, there was a loud _WHAM_! Rubble flew everywhere as a HUGE hole in the wall appeired. Standing just outside the hole was a girl in a long black jacket, jeans, and a dark blue T shirt, a black cap on backwards sat atop her head. She looked like just some young teeanger, actualy. Standing next to her was a taller person. A man, actualy, wearing an army jacket and camo pants. On the other side of this girl was another girl. This one was slightly shorter with short, black hair. This girl was wearing a tightfit red shirt and black jeans. The first girl had her hair braided and the man had his in a poneytail, due to the fact it was long, and the second girl, as said above, had her hair down.

"Someone call the Ghost Busters?" The first girl asked.

"no" Al said

"Good. Then we came just in time" The man said.

"My name is Misty and this is my older brother, Josh, and my younger sister, Anna. We heard you have…" thunder sounded and lightning flashed as the girl paused dramaticly. "…Kiwi problems" she said darkly. **(A/N: Yeah, me, my brother, and sister)**

"Holy pompatoes, Misty! It's worse than we thought!" Anna gasped.

"We need… the big guns" Josh said, also in the same dark tone his sister used. Misty and Anna gasped and Ed and Al just blinked.

"… Did she say 'pompatoes'?" Ed asked randomly, pointing at Anna.

"AHH! THEY HAVE GUNS!" Al shreiked, pointing at the attacking kiwis

"Pueny humans! Give up! We, the all mighty kiwis of sourness, can not be defeated!" a kiwi shouted, suddenly obtaining a mouth.

"DEMONS BE GONE!" Misty yelled, whackign the speaking kiwi with her boot.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, YOU DAMNED EMO BASTARD!" the kiwi yelled.

"OH my GOD! It'S STILL _LIVING_! WHAT _ARE_ THESE THINGS! THEY'RE WORSE THAN OLD LADIES!" Anna shouted.

"Girls. I have faith in both of you and your ghost powers… but it's time I did something" Josh said.

"NO!" Misty and Anna yelled.

"It is time…" Josh said with a serious face. Ed and Al stared, wondering what the hell was going on. Josh pulled a blender out of his pants, shoved the kiwis in the blender, dumped a bunch of ice, lemon'n'lime soda, and, of course, a hint of God' greatest creation.. .coffee. He pused 'Puray' and the blender did it's job. Unforuntaly, the lid blew off of the blender and the mixture within blasted everywhere. It was like acid, burning through whatever it touched. A large blod was flying staight at the Ed and Al!

GASPETH!

When suddenly, Armstrang burst into the room, creating another gaping hole in the wall.

"NYUUUOOOOO!" He yeleld in slow motion, jumping infront of them. The fizzy goop hit the muscle-man in the chest. Armstrong poofed into thin air and sparkles. Suddenly, Leprichauns rushed down from Winy's room!

"GO, GO, GO! THEY'VE GOT ONE OF OUR MEN!" one leprichaun yelled. The army of itty bitty men came running and threw raindowns and four leafe clovers at everyone.

"Nooo!" Anna yelled, getting smacked in the face with a rainbow. She poofed into mid air and, for some reason, coffee beans.

"ANNA! MY SISTER! NOO!" Misty shouted. She picked up the blender and stared at it. "I HAVE TO PEROUS!" she yeleld and smacked herself in the face with the blender and blew up. Josh blinked, then left.

"OK! Off to Ohio with the wife!" he said, waving as he walked out of the hole in the wall.

"WAIT! HELP!" Ed yelled as the leprichausn ran to him.

"Ed O-Riely! We've found you!" the leader of the leprichauns said, hugging Ed's foot. (A/N: These leprichauns are REALLY small… like.. the side of a sideays 'Enter' button on a keyboard)

"What the fuck!" Ed said. "Offa mah foots!" he said, shaking his foot around, causing him to fall over. The good china cabnit which help all the Rockbell's delicate and preshious items fell over and crashed onto the floor! Glass was littered EVERYWHERE! Ed was getting dragged off by the leprichauns to their secret base under the couch!

"Brother!" Al yelled. He grabbed the nearest thing to try and save his dear brother. A Rockstar Energy drink! He threw it at the leprichauns, but, due to Al's lousy aim, it hit Ed on the head, knocking him out cold. Ed got the can and tried again, only succeding in knocking a hole in the ceiling. "I'LL SAVE YOU, BROTHER!" Al screamed, running to Ed in slow motion.

Suddenly, everything went white and Al was standing at the gate next to Ed.

"What the fuck is going on, today!" Ed said, now conshious. Suddenly, Honhime of Light flew out of the gate and tackled his sons

"I LOVE YOU BARNEY!" Hono-papa shouted, squeazing the living daylights outta the poor guys. Envy came crashing out of nowhere, dressed up like a kitty. Al's eyes widened and sparked, shinning with the light of Christmas past** (A/N: Damn, when I said it was gonna be weird… xD)**.

"Al! Fight it! Don't fall for it!" Ed said depritly, trying to shove the drunken bum, his father, off.

"Must…. Pet…. Kitty" Al said. Suddenly, Mr. Rodgers and The Wiggles flew in, dressed like super heroes

"Now, men! Close the gate!" Mr. Rodgers shouted. The five men closed the doors of the gate and everything came back to reality! Only al and Ed were floating in the air! OUTSIDE THE HOUSE! Sitting on the chimely was Mase Hughes, dressed like an angel – compleat with harp! He was drinking an apple juice box.

"I like cerial!" Mase chanted, smiling happily. Suddenly, the Elric boys fell throug the ceiling, through the second floor, and through the first flare, now lying face first on the cement ground of the basement.

"Al…?... Al?...ALPHONSE!... No.. No… HE'S GONE AGAIN! GOD DAMN YOU, STUPID EQUIVELAT EXCHANGE!" Ed shouted.

"Hey, calm down, Fullmetal!"

Ed turned and saw Roy standing on a stage, a spotlight shining on him. We was wearing a pink tutu.

"What.. in…. the… name… of… God" Ed mumbled, eyes wide.

"WHEEEE!" Roy squeaked happily, bounding off the stage and running at Ed.

"GAH!" Ed yelled, spazzed. He was suddenly lifted from under the arms and thrown into the air, crashing through the ceiling and landing on the kitchen table! **(A/N -snickering like a madwoman-) **"Ouchy" Ed runned his head and sat up, faced with Winry Rockbel in a giant Transformers' robot. Ed shreakedl ike a little girl as the robot help up a huge wrench. The house was basicly just a heap of rubble, now.

"Edward, what the hell happened to my house!" Auntie Pinako snapped, waving her pipe at Ed.

"WINRY SMASH ED!" the robot yelled, swinging the giant wrench. The huge, metal took landed ontop of Ed!

"AHHHHHHHH!" Ed yelled his lungs out, sitting up from the table he had been sleeping at. He fell over in his chair, landing hard on his ass. "AHHHHHH!" he continued yelled. He looked down at himself, spazzing out. He looked around. Everything seemed normal. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he shreaked again, before falling over backwards onto his back. Al came running down the stairs.

"Brother! Are you alright? I heard screaming" Al said. He was wearing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles PJs this time. Ed knew everything was safe.

"…I hate kiwis" Ed mumbled.

**TADA!**

**Well, how was it? Please R&R or whatever… Thank you **

Misty


	2. What Not To Write

**Wow! When I got the first review I was like "..O.O… Oh my God… IT'S NOT A FLAME! YESSS!" xD. I reread the story and I said "My God… OK, I KNOW I spell checked this thing!" because I saw about… like, 30 errors. X.x So I figured it out! I'm weird, so I like to keep two or three versions of the same fic. The draft and the final. I clicked on the draft and submitted it instead of the final, so I apologize for that. I swear, this fic will be LOADS better!**

**To the people who liked the fic – THANK YOU! **

**Fix-it Alchemist - Wow! I'm glad you liked it! xD It was sort of a dream, actually.**

**Alright, I've bored you all long enough, so on with the fic! Oh, but before I bolt, one last thing. I forgot to mention in my last fic that Al was a human in that one. He's gonna be a tin can in my fics unless I say so. xD –clears throat- This one is going to be written in script format, because… well, I wanted to xD.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of it's characters. If I did, there would be more episodes and more fluffy moments between characters. O.o. Uh… yeah. I don't own anything but my heart, soul, and guitar. **

"What not to write." With Misty, Anna, Ed, Winry, and Al (the tin can).

Misty: Hello! And welcome to "What not to write" with me, my sister, the shrimp, the automail junky, and the tin can!

Ed, Al, Winry: --….

Anna: -slaps her forehead- ANYWHO. On with the show!

Misty: Righto! Alright, we're here to tell you the 'do's and 'don'ts of writing. Well, of course, you don't have to listen to us, I'm just trying to spare some new fanfic writers some humiliation. O.o.

Anna: Alright, first of, ALWAYS CHECK YOUR SPELLING! IF you don't, it could end up in disaster. o 

Misty: Yeah. And make sure you check which document you're clicking on before submitting it. TT It made me feel like an idiot-moron-face.

Al: Always make sure to tell people if there's a abnormal change to the fic. U.U

Ed: Don't make the characters sound like idiots. Try and picture this as an episode in the show or whatever you're writing about.

Winry: If it's going to be one of those romance fics, don't ignore other main characters just so the pairing you're writing about can have more fluffy moments.

Misty: I agree with Winry. I read this one fic once that just made me wanna bark. O.e –eyetwitch-

Anna: Most people prefer original characters over your made up ones. So, of course, you can still write them.. just, unless you're feeling brave, leave 'em to yourself.

Misty: Try not to, if you are going to post a fic with a made up character, make your character a Mary Sue. Everyone hates these. They're fine for your own stories, but… yeah.

Jay (our friend): -suddenly pops up- Don't make brownies with whole walnut halves! TRUST ME.

Misty, Anna, Winry, Ed, Al: O.o….

Jay:… It needed to be said… U.U

Misty:… anyway. –clears throat- Try not to be over descriptive. Just say: "He started to cry" instead of : "the young man's eyes filled with wavering guilt and emotion in the form up wet tears that gently rolled over his cheeks like—.." blah blah blah. Dx

Winry: And don't hate other characters and kill them off in your fics. To hate them is one thing, but please!

Anna: Be careful of what you write, keeping in mind that everyone can read your fics and might offended by it.

Al: Don't forget to put in disclaimers

Ed: 'Cause if you don't… it could get messy.

Jay: IF it's a continuing story, try an update fast. If you don't, people might forget about your story, which would be bad… O.o

Al: Make sure punctuation is correct and you indent and capitalize and such.

Winry: Although we said try to keep characters like themselves, craziness is always loved! Don't leave your creativity behind!

Misty: And, most importantly, have fun with it! D

**Alright! Not much of a fic, but, like the other one, I wanted it out there! Alright! If I see at least one more review, I'll try to update as soon as I can!**

**I wasn't going to update this, but someone actually liked it! So… what else could I do? xD R&R! Be nice to meee! You can flame, too, because I respect open opinions. **

**Thanks to all the people who read!**

** Misty.**


	3. Chihuahuas and Flare the Psycho Oo

**Alright! Here's the next one! D It's gonna be a good one! Of course, it's random and AN or whatever it's called. Remember, these fics are a collection – they don't fit together into a story or whatever! So, enjoy, and keep in mind these are random and pointless. **

**One last thing. Thank you guys so much! D Please forgive me if this one isn't as random and funny as the first – it's a hard thing to top! xD**

**Disclaimer: You know, this thing just depresses me…. –sigh- I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of its characters –sob-. But I do own me and my family.  
**

4:36 P.M. Friday, August 18. Napa California. A street, 5555555 (Not a real address. If it is, I apologize. O.o But, alas, I'm not stupid enough to put my REAL address xD). Misty's room.

"Misty, dammit! Get up! We're going to the Rockbell's today!" Anna, the 12-year-old sister of the teenager she was shaking.

"Mrrr…." Misty, the 13-year-old older sister of the girl shaking her **(A/N: xD)**, said. Anna glared.

"You stay up 'till eight writing those damned fanfics and talking to all your friends on the computer and sleep 'till five! You. Have. Issues…. You know, school's gonna be hell this year for you!" Anna snapped.

"Lemme 'lone…" Misty mumbled. Anna sighed.

"What I do for you people…" she grabbed the cold glass of water Misty had gotten before going to bed. Water was on the glass itself, and small, melted ice cubes floated in the water. Anna smirked to herself, being the evil little devil from hell she was. "Oops!" She said, dumping the glass of cold water of her sister's blankets. Misty's eyes shot open.

"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! COLDCOLDCOLDCOLD!" Misty screamed, flying out of her bed, falling on the ground, stumbling up and tripping all over the place, trying to keep her balance while her sister laughed her ass of on the floor.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Anna laughed, holding her stomach on the floor. Misty regained the sanity she had and stood still, holding the side of her light blue pajama shirt out to the side. It had gotten wet from the water seeping through the blanket.

"Damn you, you little demon!" Misty yelled, glaring. Anna regained her composure and stood up, clearing her throat.

"Just shut up and get dressed. Like I said – we're going to the Rockbell's!" Anna said, walking out of the room.

5:23 PM. Friday, August 18. Rockbell Residence.

"Gah! They won't die!" Winry Rockbell yelled, bashing a talking spork with her wrench.

"Hit it harder, Winry!" Pinako snapped, sword fighting with a spork using her pipe.

"I'm trying! But the stupid things must be made with that new plastic made from keyboards!" Winry said, fighting off sporks with her trusty wrench.

"Hey! We're here!" Misty shouted, opening the from door. Misty and Anna's eyes widened.

"..Sporks are attacking? What the…!" Anna said.

"Help!" Winry squeaked. Misty slapped her forehead.

"And I thought I'd get this week off…" Misty mumbled, then shrugged. "Anna… get the blender."

"Yes ma'am!" Anna saluted, the bolted out the door. Misty pulled a guitar out from under her hat **(A/N: Crap! I forgot to describe what we look like!...Well, if you read the first chapter, you'll know) **and leaped into action!

Once Anna came with the blender, Pinako, Winry, and Misty and broken about half of the dreaded sporks.

"I've got the blender!" Anna yelled.

"Toss it!" Misty shouted. Anna threw the blender. Misty pushed the 'SLO MO' button on the wall and ran in slow motion. She jumped and soared in the air, all in slow motion. She caught the blender and flipped in the air.

_**DING!**_

The timer on the slomo button sounded and Misty fell to the ground.

"Ow.." she mumbled. She stood up and held the blender above her head. "BLENDER POWER!" she yelled. Suddenly, there was a loud crash from upstairs in Winry's room.

"What the?" Winry said. Everyone stared at Misty. Misty's eyes were wide and she was still standing and holding the blender over her head.

"…That… wasn't supposed to happen" she said. Everyone ran upstairs.

Once they got upstairs, they were faced with a girl who looked kind of like Misty. She was wearing black jeans, a cameo tank top, her hair was in a ponytail, like Misty's, and she was wearing a cape. Thousands of the dreaded Mexican dog, Chihuahuas, were filling the room.

"Mwuahahahahahahahaaa!" The girl laughed evilly.

"Dude… there's a…. dude, there's a Chihuahua on your head" Misty said. The girl looked up and sure enough, a little Chihuahua was drooling on her head.

"What the..! Aw dammit!" the girl said, yanking the Chihuahua off her head. "Man, I hate these things" she said, dropping it into the sea of canines.

"Dear diary – what the fuck is wrong with the world?" Misty mumbled, scribbling something into a blue cameo book.

"Ahem" the girl said, looking at the group of females. Pinako was spaced out, smoking her pipe, Winry was looking at her fingernails, Anna had her hands in her pockets, moving her head due to the fact she was listening to a MP3 player, and Misty was writing. "Ahem…. Ahem!...Ahem!.. AHEM!... HEY! PEOPLE! EVIL IS UNFOLDING HERE!" the girl yelled. Misty looked up.

".. You're taking over Winry's room with… Chihuahuas…." Misty notified… nothing.

"..Well… yeah." The girl said.

"Yeah, OK. We don't even know your name, ya damn poser! And did you steal those from my closet! I could sear I have clothes just like those!" Misty yelled, pointing.

"I am…FLARE! THE ALMIGHTY!" the girl, knows as Flare, said.

"… you look… like…. Something that isn't all mighty… in my clothes." Misty said.

"Yeah.. notice how she skipped the clothes question?" Anna asked.

"I feel dirty" Misty said, eye twitching. She looked at Flare "You can keep the clothes" she said, waving a careless hand.

"…this is.. really weird… I wish Ed and Al were here" Winry said sadly.

"..Gr… CAN WE GET BACK TO THE EVIL HERE?" Flare yelled.

"Yeah sure whatever" Anna sighed.

"Good…." Flare cleared her throat. "BEWHERE!" she pushed a button on a remote, and a large ray gun cannon thingy came up through the floor and pointed at the three girls and Pinako. "FEAR MY CHIUHAUHA BASED WRATH!" Flare yelled. She pushed the button on the remote again. Flare started laughing manically and… Nothing happened.

"….Uhhhhh…." Misty and Anna mumbled in unison as Flare went on laughing. This evil chick who really isn't very evil opened her eyes. She gradually stopped laughing and fell into silence.

"Wait.." she said. "..Where's the doom?" she asked.

"… My God. Don't you have, like… a therapist to see?" Anna asked.

"Oh shit! I do!" Flare said, looking at her watch. "Bye guys!" she said, turned and ran out the hole in the wall… falling down… onto a fire hydrent… that a Chihuahua was pissing on. Everyone stared in silence for a moment….

"What the hell am I gonna do with all these Chihuahuas?" Winry yelled suddenly.

"WINRYYY! AUNTIE PINAKO! WE'RE BAAACK!" Al, from downstairs, yelled. They walked up to the four girls.

"Hi guys" Misty said, smiling happily.

"ED! KITTIES!" Al yelled, pointing at all of the Chihuahuas.

"Al, those are—.." Ed started. Al jumped into the pile of Chihuahuas

"KITTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" he squeaked happily. **(A/N: Yup. He's a tin can. xD)** Ed slapped his forehead… with his metal arm.. knocking him out cold. With the sudden weight – all the Chihuahuas, the four women, the two Elric boys and the metal of their bodies – the floor of this one room couldn't take it! The floor crashed through, causing them all the fall into the living room!

The sudden WHACK of all these people falling caused an EARTHQUAKE!

8:56 PM, Friday, August 18. Great Wall Of China.

The earthquake from the Rockbell's house caused the Great Wall Of China to split apart, letting the Mongolians in and eventually leading to China's destruction.

8:56 PM, Friday, August 18, 2006. Rockbell's House's Rubble.

"…My house… is rubble." Pinako said. Pinako was standing on top of Ed, Ed was on top of Al, Al was on top of winry, Winry was on top of Anna, and Anna was on top of Misty who was on top of the Chihuahuas.

"Can't…. breathe…" Misty said, turning blue in the face.

"At least you're not crushed under A SUIT OF ARMOR!" Winry snapped.

"Cram it. I'm crushed under everyone" Misty mumbled.

"You know what? This is fucked up. We're outta here" a Chihuahua said. "Come on, guys". All the Chihuahuas left and everyone fell to the ground.

"OK… Now I really can't breathe" Misty squeaked.

"Well, I can't get down. It's too high up and if I jump from this high I'll break my legs" Pinako said.

12:45 AM, Saturday, 19. Still in that same place.

"I'm tired…. And I dropped my pipe"

"Ewww! Brother's drooling on me!"

"He's still knocked out!"

"Guys! I think Misty just passed out!"

**OWARI (or… end.)**

**Well? How as it? I'm not exactly in the happy spazzo mood. Don't ask why, I'll just start ranting and.. well ,you get the picture. **

**Alright! I want reviews, people! –twitch- GIMME MAH REVIEWS!... And money! Money's appreciated! D**

**Oh, and if anyone was offended by the China blowing up thing, I apologize. It was just the most random thing I could think of that wasn't Canada. Canada's too overused. --.**

**Well! That's it! R&R! OR DIE **

**I love you all!**

**- Holy Pompatoes, Batman! Misty.**


	4. Weird dreams, Gay Colonels, and Gunshots

**Thanks to everyone! This is gonna be another late night fic, so… O.o be careful. **

**This one if dedicated to my best friend – Darth Barbara… Barb, if you weren't always there for me, who knows where I'd be by now? Probably six feet underground. It's all thanks to you that I have the confidence to go on and take care of Anna on my own. I finally broke down and was crying… I truly couldn't handle it any more. Mom finally decided to be a good parent and talk to me. She said I was handling it all better then she would have, and she's sorry for the hell she put me through. I've figured out my problem, Barb…. I don't have a home. It's so… gone. In this house, having to keep it perfect. It's not home. Nothing's here. I'm finally able to let go, but I'm stuck. Things'll get so much better as soon as we're out of the house. The funny this is, it was when Anna broke down and started crying on my shoulder that I realized it. And I looked at Mom and just said, as serious as ever, "We need out of this house, Mom". I've decided, no matter how much Anna and I fight, I've got to look out for her. With everything we've been through, God knows she needs it…. Mom actually said I've been "Acting very grown up" lately. **

**-ahem- Well, everyone, without further ado, my fanfiction. Chapter.,.. what is it, 4? Whatever. This'll be a bit different, just a snap of reality.. I think. –shrug- I've really got no clue. –clears throat- ON with the show.**

3:40 PM, Saturday, August, 20. Down Town.

We meet Misty today walking with a friend. Misty, today, is wearing a pair of old jeans **(A/N: And when we say old? We mean: white paint splatters, a few holes and worn spots here and there, permanent ink anime chibi doodles, signatures, ect. xD Yes, these pants are real – they're my favorite pair) **and a cameo tank top. She's wearing her usual black cap on backwards, and her hair is in a loose ponytail. Her friend was wearing a… pirate… outfit! **(A/N: It's true! She walks around like that xD)** …. Anyway. Yeah. A pirate outfit – complete with captain hat! Her hair was down casually.

"So.. I had that damned dream again last night, Barb" Misty sighed. She shook the bottled mocha frap. from Starbucks she had gotten **(A/N: You know. They sell those things in bottles at 7elevens now xD)**.

"Hm?" the girl, 'Barb' said, looking at Misty. "Oh, the one with the ocean?"

"Yeah… only kind of different. This time I was trapped underwater, but I couldn't move at all… But I couldn't breathe this time, either. I really couldn't! Like… like it was so real…" Misty said. She shivered slightly. Barb patted her on the shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, Misty! It was just a dream!" she said, smiling.

"I know.. but I'd feel better if we talked to Anna. She reads a lot of dream books or whatever, so she'd know"

"Whatever floats your boat!"

"Ugh… d-don't mention anything that has to do with water"

4:06 PM. Saturday, August 20. Hughes Residence.

"AHH! OK, OK, ENOUGH!" Anna yelled. The 12-year-old girl was babysitting Elysia Hughes for a while. "ENOUGH STICKERS!" she yelled. She was covered head to toe in, yes, stickers. Elysia, at one point, had run out of stickers and put those sticky notes on her face.

"But, Big Sister, you look so pretty with them on!" Elysia said as Anna pulled off a pink sicker. Anna's eye twitched and she looked at the little girl.

"Imma do ya a favor and take that as a complement" she growled. Elysia squeaked.

"Some babysitter YOU are"

Elysia and Anna turned to the from door. Misty and Barb were standing in the doorway.

"The freakin' door's even unlocked! Man, Anna" Barb said. Misty wagged her finger at her sister.

"Shaddap" Anna growled. "So… what brings you guys here?" she asked.

"A weird dream Misty had" Barb said. **(A/N -listening to the Youtube video "Remember the name FMA" by SD4CAdude- SD4CAdude, whoever you are. O.o.. Anna and I love that song. Thank you…. P.S. to the readers: Cussing from a 4-year-old coming. xD Also mild spoilers for an episode in FMA.)**

"…. Hey, have you noticed there's no Fullmetal Alchemist anything in these fics?" Anna asked.

"Yeah.. I think it's because I have a short attention span" Misty said. Barb shrugged.

"Hey! What the hell am I then, chopped liver!" Elysia asked, glaring.

"…." The three teenaged girls stared at the little girl as she pulled out a cigar.

"I don't need this shit! You can get that fuckin' Nina bitch stunt actor to do this damn part!" Elysia snapped. "'whaaaa! Oh, no, Mommy! Don't let them burry Daddy! He's got work to do! Waaaahhhhhhh!' BULL! Like any four year old doesn't know the damn bastard's not comin' back! You know what? They can just shove his little ol' fashion dagger up their a--!"

"I think someone needs a nap" Misty said, staring at the 'little girl' **(A/N: AND it picks up! )**

"What the! You fuckin' moron! Why the hell--!" Elysia said. Misty picked her up.

"Awwww! She's so cute!" Misty said. Anna and Barb stared at Misty, looking like this: "O.O…."

"PUT ME DOWN YOU SON OF A--!..." Misty shoved her finger in the four-year-old's mouth.

"Someone needs to SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO TO SLEEP!" Misty snapped, eye twitching. Everyone stared at the scary teenage spazz in silence….. "There we go!" Misty said, returning to her happy… weird-ness. Misty went upstairs to put the girl to bed… at four in the afternoon **(A/N: I did this once when I was babysitting. xD)** After a minute of silence in the living room, Barbara and Anna still staring in shock…

".. That… yeah, that was messed up" Anna said. Barb nodded. Misty returned happily.

"Alright! Back to business"

"Alright… so my dream symbolizes either… I'm stressed out about an upcoming event…. I'm putting off something I need to do soon… or…" Misty glared. "Immunna drown" she said, glaring at the book in front of her. Anna started snickering.

"Well, considering you're scared of fish, I don't think that'll happen" Barb said

"You know what?... A frikkin' spider monkey could give me better advise." Misty glared. She put her hands on the table and pushed her char backwards and stood up. "In fact… Immunna go see someone with the brain of a spider monkey" she put her hands on her hips. Anna and Barb stood up as well.

"Who? Havoc?" Anna asked.

"No… the man with an IQ of three and a half" Misty said.

"Roy Mustang" The three said at the same time, then happily skipped off **(A/N: I'm crying, dammit! Stupid 'breathe no more' song! –sob-… GAH! NO! BAD TEARS! NOT ON THE LAPTOOOOP!) **out the door.

As they walked down the road to see Mustang, they ran into a couple street performers!

"What the?.. NINA! FLETCHER?" Misty shouted, seeing the street performers.

"Hi, Misty!" Nina said **(A/N: Nina's just the normal, little girl for all of you to know, here.) **

"Uhm…" Anna said. "How come you two are dressed like Gangstaz?" she asked. It was true…. We'll leave it to the imagination to spare bad mental images, for Misty's mind is a scary thing.

"We're street performers!" Fletcher said. Barb just blinked.

"Howcum I'm getting the feeling I'm being left out of this story as it goes on?" she asked.

"Silence, monkey" Misty said, glaring at Barb.

"TIME FOR OUR SHOW!" Nina squeaked happily.

"BUH-BYE!" Anna shouted, running while dragging Misty off.

4:56 PM. Saturday, August, 20. Colonel Mustang's Office

In the Military HQ place thingy, Colonel Mustang was hard at work…..

"Colonel?.. Colonel Mustang?... Yo… Hey… Wake up….!"

"Anna, you've got a crush on the guy, huh?"

"Shut up, Barb….!"

"Cram it both of you and let ME wake him up"

"Don't hurt him like last time, OK? I know he's your mortal enemy, but—…"

"Wait… if he's her mortal enemy why did we come see HIM? We could have just asked Nina!"

"Like I said – Silence, monkey… and no, I won't hurt him"

Misty, Anna, and Barb were in the Colonel's office.. sadly, of course, he was asleep on his paperwork.

"Awww! He's drooling again!" Anna said.

4:57 PM. Saturday, August 20. The Hallway Outside of The Colonel's Office.

Jean Havoc and Denny Blosh **(A/N: Is that right? O.o Is it Blosh, Blotch, ect?... Whatever. You get the idea. --)** were walking down the hallway. They were rigt next to the Colonel's office, when suddenly the door gave way. The hall was flooded with little pink valentine hearts, Misty and Barb carried with the tidal wave.

"GAHH!" Denny and Jean yelled, getting smacked with the flood of hearts. Misty and Barb were screaming their lungs out as the four people were swept through the Military HQ in the sea of hearts.

"MAKEITSTOOOPPPPP!" Misty yelled. Riza Hawkeye came running out of a nearby room with a gun. Once she was 'the attacker', she eyes widened.

".. Ohhhh bullet holes" she said before the giant wave swept her away along with it.

By the time all the fake hearts started, basically everyone in the entire building was trapped in the menacing pink fluffy hearts.

"I'll never complain about Armstrong's sparkles again" Jean groaned.

"Silence, Monkey" Misty growled. Anna walked up.

"Did I do thaaat?..." she asked.

_**Cah**-**chick!**_

Anna gulped as Riza loaded her gun. Seconds later, she was half way to Virginia…. Everyone on her heels.

"ANNA YOU LITTLE ROY-OBSESSED MONKEY I WILL SHOVE THIS FUCKING HAT DOWN YOUR THROAT AND MAKE YOU _EAT IT_ IF YOU EVER DO THIS AGAIN!" Misty yelled, waving her black cap as she chased her sister.

At That Moment, Saturday blah blah. Roy's Office.

"Huh? Wha?..." Roy asked, sitting up. He blinked. "Why is my office filled with… frilly pink love-hearts?" he asked, poking one that was on his desk with a pencil.

"Target Found…. Target locked. Three…. Two… one" the heart… said. O.o

"Oh mother f—.."

The Military HQ blew up with lots and lots of mini-love-hearts.

This is getting annoying….7:00 PM, that night, in the rubble of the Military HQ and sea of love-hearts.

"THIS! IS! ALL! YOUR! FAULT! YOU! DAMNED! COLONEL!" Riza yelled, beating Roy on the head with her pistol as she spoke.

"You know?... This always happens. Every time those two sisters come into town something gets demolished or blown up." Ed, who magically popped up with his tin can brother, said.

"You know what? You're right!" Jean said.

"Ow! Ow! Quichi! Riza, quit the hitting!"

"SHADDAP YOU! THIS IS YOUR FAULT AND YOU'RE REBUILDING THE HQ **AND** FILLING OUT ALL THE LOST PAPERWORK!"

**(A/N: -hopes to God the writing got small on If not, the Roy and Riza yelling is supposed to have small text, meaning it's in the background while Ed and Jean are talking)**

"I know I'm right" Ed said, putting his hands on his hips and looking proud with his nose in the air.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Al asked.

"Drive 'em out! Make sure they never come back!" Breda said

"But we caaannnn'ttttt!" Ed said

"Why not?" Jean asked.

"….. One, they're all the fun we ever get in this boring, God forsaken city… and they'll hit us" Ed said.

"Ha ha! Ed's scared of being hit by a girl!" Jean said. Ed's eyes widened and backed away slowly. "What is it?" Havoc asked, looking at Ed weird. Ed pointed a shaky finger to just above Havoc….. to the devil-shadow looming over him.

"**AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH GIRLS!**" The looming devil-shadow yelled, whacking Jean repetitively **(A/N: Hey! Look! D It's getting bright outside!) **

"Misty! Don't kill him!"

"ANNA! INTERVENTION!"

"LEMME HIT HIM AGAIN! JUST ONCE! JUST ONE MORE TIME!"

"IF YOU HIT HIM AGAIN HIS SKULL' BREAK!"

"THAT'S WHY I WANNA--!"

"CALM DOWN!"

_**BANG!**_

_**BANG!**_

_**BANG!**_

Well, if nothing else, the sound on a gunshot is sure to shut everyone up. Misty - the looming devil-shadow from before, Barb and Anna all stared at Riza, along with everyone else. Barb and Anna had a hold on each of Misty's arms and her cap was tilted slightly so it was covering one of her eyes.

"Enough! All of you! I'm trying to beat some sense into Mustang here and I can't do so with all the yelling!" Riza snapped. **(A/N: My throat hurts. T-T Owwie!)**

"… Y'know what?... I'm tired and going home" Misty said, yawning. She pulled off her gloves and stuffed them in her pockets. "G'night, everyone!" Misty said.

"Wait up! I don't have a key to the house yet!" Anna said, following her sister.

"… What about me?" Barb asked. Misty turned around

"Alright. Slumber parteh!" Misty said

"Us too?" Maria Ross asked. Misty blinked, then shrugged.

"Sure."

1:30 AM. Sunday, August 21. Misty and Anna's house.

"Why did we have to come here?" Ed asked, yawning.

"'cause issa slumber party and we wanna play pin the automail on the Ed" Misty said. Ed glared.

"You know, plugging in the automail DOSE hurt!" he said.

"Yeah, we know" Anna said, waving a careless hand.

"Can we play pin the head on the Al instead?" Ed asked

"Nope" Roy said. "Now take off yer pants so we can take off the leg"

"WHAT! WHY CAN'T YOU USE MY ARM?" Ed yelled

"….'cause I said" Roy said. Misty and Anna blinked.

"Dude… your boyfriends gay" Misty said, looking at Anna.

"Shut up!" Anna snapped.

"OK! OUT WITH THE GAY BOY!" Jean yelled.

"I'M NOT GAY!"

"I feel… not clean…"

"... He's not really gay… right?"

"'M 'frade so, An"

"HA HA! YOU LIKE A GAY COLONEL!"

"SHUT UP, MISTY!"

"GONNA MAKE ME, FLAME BOY!"

"I'LL SET YOU ON FIRE IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!"

"I'LL PUT YOUR FIRE OUT FOR GOOD, DAMMIT!"

"OK, OK! Enough of the fighting you two!"

Bard sighed. "Well, it's what you get for shoving The Flame Alchemist in the same room with Misty."

"I can't believe he's gay!" Anna sobbed. Ed was hiding behind a pillow.

"I AM NOT GAY!" Roy yelled.

"Fine! Bisexual!" Misty said, laughing.

"I HATE YOU ALL!" Roy sobbed, running out of the house.

".. Soooo gay" Anna said.

"Great. We work for a gay-boy" Jean said.

**_SNAP!_**

And that's how Misty and Anna's house came to be a parking lot. O.o… a charcoaled parking lot… that smells like… burning-ness.

**T3h Endeth!**

**-ahem- If anyone who heard this is gay and is offended by this, please except my deepest apologies. I didn't aim to offend anyone and I don't have anything against… -tries to think of the correct word—gives up- Gay-osity. **

**POLL TIME!**

**Yes, poll time. Please, I need votes! I want to know what you want to see. If me and my sister – plus non-FMA characters are not what you want to see, tell me, and I'll start writing the crazyness without us in there.**

**REVIEW OR FACE MY CHIUHAUHA BASED WRATH!**

**Luff ja!**

**- Misty**


	5. Wow, glasses suck Oo

**I got scared of being killed by my reviewers, so I updated as soon as I could. O.O. You people're mean! –sob- I GO LIKE YEW!...**

**Actually, I love you all for reviewing, so keep it up and I'll write!.. But it doesn't take death threats to get me to write stuff. O.o…. 'cause I get scared…. Easily…. –sob-**

**And, of course, no one voted… so screw you people, I'm keeping me in! MWAHAHAH.**

**Wait, wait, hang on. O.o My lawyer reminded me of ChrystalRose. SHE voted! –points at everyone who didn't vote- ATLEAST _SOMEONE'S_ RESPONSIBLE! Chrystal, you get a muffin basket! Expect it delivered to your door in 3-5 workdays… And if you don't like muffins, I'll dedicate this chapter to you. O.o…. Oh, and this chapter is about Ed. Better? And no, I don't like Colonel Mustang very much…. Even though he _is_ really hot. O.o…. 'm confusing. I know.**

**One last thing – I'm kinda sick – damn strep throat – so… yeah.**

**Oh, and –random cursing- I FORGOT TO PUT IN THE DISCLAIMER LAST TIIIMMEEE! –spazzfit-**

**Disclaimer: This thing just pisses me off. Dx. –sigh- I don't own FMA or their stories. Please stop asking me this you gay, emo bastards… HAVE A NICE DAY!**

"_Wow, glasses suck…" The story of the blind people… O.o_

"NOOOOOOO!"

"Brother – it won't be that bad!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Brother! Calm down! People are staring!"

" **_NYOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHUUUUUU!_**"

"OK, now you're just over reaching!"

_sobbing_

"Come on, Ed! It's not THAT bad! _I_ wear glasses!"

"Yeah! Misty wears glasses!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"…. Yeah, I do. See? I'm wearing them right now!"

"Misty… you idiot."

Misty, Anna, Al, and Ed were sitting outside of Kaiser Permanente – the doctor's office, to put it more specific. About a week ago, Ed had run into a stopsign…. Looking forward… so Al decided to drag Ed to the doctor's. The poor State Alchemist, sadly, needs glasses, now. Misty and Anna happened to be walking by and saw Ed sobbing. So, of course, they decided to see what was wrong with their friend. When they descovered Ed needed glasses, they tried their best to comfort him… after laughing and pointing at him…. For five hours.

"I can't wear glasses! I'm a State Alchemist, for cryin' outloud!" Ed said, calming down a little.

"Yeah.. wearing glasses and kickin' ass is kinda hard to do" Misty said, putting her hand on the back of her head.

"The only ass kicking you do, Misty, is when you accedentaly step on a bug" Anna said. "Other times you spazz and scream for me to kill a _moth_." She said, crossing her arms. Ed snickered at the expreshion on Misty's face. She looked kind of like Al in that one episode of FMA in the flashback. You know, when they were on the island as kids and about to eat the fish they got, then the 'masked man' jumped behind him, and Al looked happy, but kinda… pissed? Remember?... Of course you do. Well she looked like that for a minute… with her eye twitching.

"I hate you" Misty said, glaring at Anna as she leaned back against a tree.

"Well, atleast Ed smiled!" Anna said, pointing over her shoulder at Ed, who then glared. Misty rolled her eyes and looked up.

"Imma climb the tree" she said.

"Uh – hey – can we get back to the issue at hand?" Ed asked, glaring.

"Yeah sure whatever" Misty said quickly, climbing the tree.

"Brother, it's not all that bad!" Al said. Ed crossed his arms.

"Why can't I get contact lenses!" he asked.

"Because they don't get invented until… not in your life time" Misty said, hanging upside down from a tree branch.

"Dammit" Ed said.

"Wait, neither was Kaiser!" Al said. Kaiser poofed in a puff of smoke and now was gone. Misty fell off the tree, since it vanished with the building, and landed on her head.

"OW!" Misty growled.

"Great. Just what we need" Anna said flatly. "Misty with even _more_ brain damage" she said, letting a slight, smug grin cross her face as Msity sat up.

"Halarious, Anna. Since when did _you_ get a sense of humor?" Misty asked angrily, rubbing her head and now sitting with her legs crossed. Ed sighed.

"This sucks" he said.

"Get over it, Ed. It's not the worst thing to happen" Misty said, glaring.

"But glasses are for_ girls_! Us _men_ are too _tough _to wear glasses! See, you_ girls_ need glasses to cook and clean and do all the stuff girls do. It's the way of life" Ed said. Misty was practicly on fire she was so pissed. If there was one thing that gets Misty angry, it's steriotyping like that.

"**DAMMIT! WHAT'S WRONG WITH GIRLS! GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING YOU STUPID BOYS CAN AND TEN TIMES _BETTER_ IF THEY WANTED!**" Misty yelled, tackling Ed. Anna and Al stared in shock and fear as a large dust cloud appeired like in cartoons. O.o….

"MISTY! ED! KNOCK IT OFF! YOU'RE GONNA KILL EACH OTHER!" Anna yelled spazzing.

"And that would be bad?" Al asked

"Mom would kill me" Anna said. By the time the dust cleared, Misty had Ed pinned to the ground. She was sitting on his back and had detatched his right arm. The automail one.

"HA!" Misty said.

"OFF! NOW! AND GIMME MY ARM!" Ed yelled. Anna slapped her forehead and Al, if he was human, would have sighed.

"Not until you admit girls are better then guys completely" Misty said.

"Not a chance in hell! NOW LET ME UP BEFORE I KICK YOUR STUPID GIRLY ASS!" Ed yelled. Misty whacked him on the head with the auotmail arm. "Ow.." he mumbled.

"Admit it!"

"No!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"ADMIT IT OR I'LL HIT YOU AGAIN!"

"**NO**!"

Anna, who was sitting on the ground, fell over on her back.

"They'll be at this all day" she sighed. "They're equal in determination…. And stubborn-ness" she said, sitting up once again.

"Brother! Misty! Can't you two just give up and compromise?" Al asked

"**_NO_**!" Misty and Ed both yelled, glaring at Al. Al jumped and hid behind Anna. Anna sweatdropped.

_The Next Day. 12:00 Noon. Kaiser. Doctor's Office. Room 23._

"I'm glad you could make it today, Edward!" Dr. Read said. Ed, Al, Misty, and Anna were all in the office. Al, of course, came with his brother for support. Misty and Anna, on the other hand, came to laugh at him when he got the glasses.

"Yeah, yeah" Ed said, pouting.

"Well… I'm afriad we mixed up your eye examination papers…" the Dr. said.

"WHAT!" All four yelled.

"Um… Ed doesn't actualy need glasses" Dr. Read said.

"But what about when he smacked into the stop sign!" Misty asked.

"He doesn't need glasses… he's just stupid" Dr. Read said. Misty and Anna burst out laughing and Ed glared.

"You're on my list, now, Read…" he said in a deadly tone.

"But…" Read said. Everyone stared in antisipation.

"There's a chance you might need glasses in the near future, so we whipped together this pair for you" Read said quickly, shoving a pair of glasses on Ed's face.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ed howled. Read jumped and took a step back.

"He always does that" Misty said. Anna and Al nodded. Ed ran out the door, sobbing. Everyone stared at the door for a moment until the loud sobbing faded into silence.

"… So, Doc, did my new glasses come in yet?" Misty asked, turning to the doctor.

**FIN!... AHH! SHARK! RUUNNNNNN! ISSA SHARK FIN! –scream-… wait, wha?.. oh… oh! xD No fear, everyone! It's just the end of this chapet! xDD… O.O… NOOO! **

**XD. Well? How was it? Remember, people, I want to hear from YEW. REVIEW OR FACE MY SISTER'S COW BASED WRATH!**

**Anna: HEY! D **

**Misty: Live with it, sista! **

**Since you all rock outloud with the reveiws, you get chocolate brownies. –gaspeth-**

**Jay (if you don't remember her from chapter 2, she's our friend): THEY DON'T HAVE WHOLE WALNUT HALVES, DO THEY!**

**Misty: N-no.. they have chopped walnuts…-fear- but also some of them don't have any nuts at all….**

**Jay: Good…. –slinks off-**

**Misty: O.O…. –shaking with fear- R&R, please…**

**Jay: OR I'LL KILL YEW!**


	6. How to lose a date! You know it's comin'

**-stabbing an empty soda can- GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK TO DAMNED WAIST OF CASH!**

**Anna, Jay, Ed, Al, Winry: -watching and eating popcorn-**

**Misty: -blink-… Ahem. Anyway.. HI PEOPLE! I'm glad you're back and reading!**

**Fixit Alchemist - -goes back and looks at comments- Blah blah blah chicken… Hmmm… -gasp-! GASPETH! YOU'RE RIGHT! –sob- I'm SO SORRY! –sobsobsob- OK! To make it up to you, I'll send you a muffin basket! A BIG muffin basket!... Or I'll just dedicate this chapter to you. O.o. Whatever gets me off the hook works.**

**Slinko - Yeah, I know I'm crazy. Thanks for reviewing! I hope you keep reading and reviewing!**

**THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YOU! Read and Review. …. O.o…. Or… Review and then read… or whatever floats your boat xD. Anywho**

**My God! I just saw "Night of the Chimera's Cry". It just ended, and I'm frikkin' crying! My God, Ed was crying, he was frikkin' sobbing man! That's just… that's just _mean_!**

**Disclaimer: I only own my soul and what's left of my sanity.**

"_How To Lose A Date" With Misty, Jade, Anna, Ed, Winry, and Al._

Misty: Hey, everyone! Lemme explain for a sec – see, every so often if I'm not in the best mood, I'll write something in script format – like this!

Anna: And she'll drag the rest of us into it, too…

Jade: Why am I here?

Misty: Cram it, Jade, and pay attention. Ahem. Everyone, this is Jade, another one of our many friends!

Ed: Many _nothin'_. You've got Jay, Jade, Jay's sister Jess, and us.

Al: I hate to say it, but it's true.

Anna: It's more then you two have. -.-…

Ed, Al: …..

Misty, Jade: … -burst out laughing-

Anna: -evil grin-

Ed: …. I hate you.

Winry: -walks in- I hear laughing! Why wasn't I invited?

Al, Ed: WINRY!

Al: See? We have Winry!

Anna: Yeah. Two young men with Winry for a best friend. You must be so proud of yourselves.

Ed: At least we're not scared of fish… and everything..

Misty: -gets pissed- ATLEAST I DIDN'T NEARLY KILL ME BROTHER!

Ed, Al: ….

Jade:… -sigh- Too far, Mist….

Misty: … Imma go get some coffee. –leaves-

Anna: -slaps her forehead-

Winry:… that was… weird….

Jade: OK! Well then! These people didn't come here to watch us bicker… right? –looks at you- ….-blink-…. OK. Good. Well then. –clears throat- OK, then! Now on to today's topic!

Anna: Right! OK, this'll come in handy for you guys and girls who need to ditch a date – and fast!

Winry: Without getting the person your on a date with… s…. feeling hurt. xD

Ed:… I'm gonna go… do… something else while they do the girl part.

Al: Yeah, me too.

Ed, Al: -leave-

Jade: ROLL THE CLIPS!

Everyone turns to a TV that was off screen a moment ago. The screen turns on, and it shows Misty in a blue dress.

"Alright, here we go. I'm going on a date with some guy from school.. Johnny or something. I dunno. I hate you all for this, but I'm getting fifty bucks, so… here we go. And remember, I'm trying to make this end as fast as possible." Misty says.

The TV fast forwards to show Misty and some guy at a table.

"So.. you come here often?" the guys asked.

"Actually no. I'd never dream of coming here" Misty says, smiling happily.

"Why not? Too expensive? Yeah, well, I thought you--…"

"No, I'm just not the fancy kind of girl" Misty interrupts, looking at herself in a silver spoon.

"Uh.. OK. Well, neither am I! Heh heh heh.. I just.. uhh…" The guy says. Some waiter brings a couple glasses of water.

"Oh hey! Awesome! Hey, wanna see a trick?" Misty asks.

"Um.. Ok?" the guy says. Misty moved the silver spoon and sets an ice cube on it. She closes one eye, aiming the spoon, then whacks one of the spoon with her hand. The ice cube is catapulted up into the air, and lands in the front of some old woman's shirt. Naturally, the old woman spazzes, gets up, and runs around; knocking things over and causing an uproar. Misty falls out of the booth, laughing, and the guy stares in shock. The camera fast forwards again.

"That was _awesome_" Misty says, smiling happily and sitting up again.

"Um.. .yeah… but wasn't that kind of…mean?" he asked.

"Mean? No way! Here, I'll show you _mean_" she said. She picked up the glass of ice water and waited for a waiter to walk by. She casually jerked the glass, sending ice water all over the waiter. The sudden rush of cold-ness spazzed the waiter out, causing him to fall and the tray he was caring to go flying. A bowl of steaming hot soup landed on the lap of the guy Misty's with. Causing extreme pain, causing him to spazz.

Fast forward again.

"So sorry about that. Entirely my fault" Misty says.

"No, no. It's.. fine" the guy says.

"Are you looking at my ass!" Misty snaps angrily.

"Wha--!"

"Are you lookin' at my ass?" Misty interrupted, louder this time.

"I – uh – M-Misty you're sitting down" the guy says, trying to shrink my slouching down.

"I asked you a question damn it!" Misty yells.

"Misty, people are staring" the guy says.

"You know what? This is a HUGE fucking waist of time!" Misty says, and stands up and leaves. The waiter walks up.

"Your bill, sir…."

The TV shuts off.

Misty: -has returned with a mocha frap from Starbucks- xDD. That was _funny._

Jade: -cracking up-

Anna: I can't believe you kept a straight face!

Winry: That's horrible!... but hilarious!

Misty: -slides her hat to the side- Yo. xD.

Ed, Al: -walk up- Done yet?

Misty: Yup! OK, guys turn!

Ed: Alright, guys. Pay attention, because you have no **idea** how terrible it is to have a sucky date. Dx.

Al: Role video!

The TV turns on again.

OK, so Ed's on the screen, wearing a dark red tux. He's sitting at some table with, of course, some chick in a strapless pink dress.

"This is so awesome!" Some Chick says, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Yeah, whatever" Ed mumbled, looking to the side at a table of girls. Of course, these girls are Misty, Anna, Jade, and Winry with the hidden camera.

".. Ed?... Ed?... Ed! Are you listening to me!" the chick asks.

"huh?" Ed asks, looking back to the chick. A female waiter comes wit ha couple menus.

"Thank you" The chick says. Ed watches the waitress as she leaves.

"Maaaannn…." He mumbled, staring with wide eyes.

"Edward!" the girl snaps.

"Huh?" Ed asks, looking at his 'date'

"You're on a date with **me** here!" the girl says.

"Yeah, but man, she was _stacked_" Ed said.

"Ugh!" the girl says, crossing her arms

"Hey, look at this!" Ed says. The girl turns to see Ed with the spoons shoved up his nose.

The TV shuts off.

Misty, Anna, Jade, Winry: -burst out laughing-

Ed: That was the most humiliating time of my life… and the most painful –rubs his cheek-

Misty: xD I can't believe we ran out of tape the moment she stared wailing on you!

Ed: Heh… -glare-

Winry: This is good black mail material

Anna: Seriously! xD

Jade: xDD. Well, everyone, I hope this comes in handy for you!

Misty: Yeah! And remember, be creative when being a terrible date! Stay tuned for my next fanfic, because I'm gonna be writing it as soon as this one goes up! xD

**R&R, peeps! I just want to say to all my readers and reviewers… I lurve yew! –heart- KEEP REVIEWING OR I'LL HITCHA WIF A SOCK!**

**Oh, and NEWS FLASH! O.O… I've become addicted to Fort Minor. xD Rap. Sweet, huh? Everyone hates rap, and most rap I hate, too. But this is good. I know, I'm weird.**

**Like a non-gay rainbow, I—**

**Roy: I AM NOT GAY!**

**Misty: …. Whatever you say, Mustang. –sigh- Anyway, where was I?... Who cares. Anyway, I got a new book! It is love. It's called Water Shaper. It's really good, so far. I'm a complete water spazz – my elements water, I love water, I love swimming, I—**

**Anna: you're scared of the underwater, Mist.**

**Misty: WAY too many horror movies where the dead person's underwater. Dx. Who _wouldn't_ we scared for life! I WAS SEVEN!**

**Well, thanks for reading! Please, oh please, review. I have nothing else to do – all I do is go on Neopets and Gaiaonline! MY LIFE IS SO BORING! –sob-**

** Misty, your lord and master, the non-gay-rainbow, SINGLE, half fox demon, Alchemist, psycho… who loves you – LIKE FRIENDS… and gives you cake for this chapter. O.o**


	7. Talk about a real horror! Oo

**Alright, people! We're baaaaaaaaaack! xD Not that we were ever gone, but… yeah. O.O.**

**Anywho, I woke up to a shiny new Dell Laptop!.. Well, I woke up to my sister screaming "MISTY! GET UP! I WANNA SEE YOUR NEW LAPTOP!".. Well, here's what happened this morning-**

**_Misty's lying in bed, asleep. She's wearing black pants and a dark blue tee-shirt that says "dream" on it. There's a little boom box on her bedside table, and it's filling the room with the sounds of the ocean. She's wearing her glasses and there's a book over her face. In the kitchen, Anna's sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, like always, sitting and reading a red book. Their mom's sitting on the couch. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. Their dog-puppy, Mia, goes off the wall and starts barking like mad. Of course, Anna gets pissed and yells something at the dog. Something like "SHADDAP!". Mom sighed and answers the door. Of course, it's the Fed-ex guy! So mom walks into the living room with a large box._**

"_**What's that?" Anna asks, walking up.**_

"_**It's a laptop, Anna! It's for Misty and all of her writing." Mom says.**_

"_**Can we open it!" Anna asks eagerly.**_

"**_Don't you think we should let Misty open it? Just wait until she wakes up." Mom says, puts the box on the couch, and leaves. Anna sighs then grins evilly. Quietly, she sneaks into Misty's room. She draws in a deep breath and…_**

"_**MISTY! WAKE UP! I WANNA SEE YOUR LAPTOP!"**_

"_**GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Misty screams, jumping and falling on to the floor. Misty, as always, is always jumpy. Whenever a balloon pops, she'll be clinging to the nearest person and screaming.**_

"… _**Up. Open the box" Anna demands.**_

"_**Oh, gee. Thanks for the concern, dear sister" Misty says sarcastically, standing up. "You know, if I hadn't have lost my sanity to the internet, I would have hit you to Mars by now"**_

"_**Yeah, whatever, just open the damned box"**_

"_**What box!"**_

**And that was it. O.o I didn't even know I was getting the laptop! It's awesome! I just got it all set up, that's why I'm writing this! This is so awesome! xD. OK, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I own my new Dell Notepad. Not you. Now you must post a disclaimer saying you don't own it! HA! I PWN JOO! XDDD… O.o.. What was this thing for again?... Oh yeah. I don't own FMA or whatever the hell I'm writing about.**

Misty and Anna's house. 2:26 PM. Wednesday, August 24. Kitchen.

"Dammit, Misty! Gimme my book back!"

"Nooo! I need it to keep the chair from wobbling so I can WRITE THE DAMN FANFIC PEOPLE LIKE READING!"

"SCREW THE PEOPLE AND GIMME MY DAMNED BOOK!"

_Dramatic Gasp._

"Don't you **(A/N: "Bye Mom! Don't kill anybody!"… Sorry, had to wish Mom good luck. She's a nurse and she's going to work. xD.)** DARE insult the people!"

"MISTY! GIMME MY BOOK!"

"I SAID I NEED IT!"

"USE SOMETHING ELSE!"

"NO!"

"GIVE!"

_Tackle, whap, wrestle, argue, fight, yell._

Misty and Anna's Mom walked into the room and saw the two sisters fighting.

"… Not again… Misty! Anna! Knock it off!" she said. They continued fighting.

"GIVE ME MY BOOK!" Anna yelled.

"OVER MY DEAD BODY I WILL!" Misty shouted.

"THAT CAN BE ARRANGED!" Anna shouted back.

"YOU WISH!" Misty yelled. Their mom sighed.

"Why me?..." she mumbled, walking out of the room.

_Knock knock!_

"STUPID!"

"GOTH!"

"RETARD!"

"EMO!"

"GAY!"

"CUTTER!"

_**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!**_

"WE'LL GET IT!"

_Kitchen. Misty and Anna's house. 3:22 PM. Wednesday, August 24._

Misty, Anna, Ed, Al, Jade, and Winry were sitting at the kitchen table. Apparently them who had been at the door while the two sisters had been fighting.

"Why do you guys fight no much? Ed and Al don't fight!" Winry said

"Ed and Al are different. Misty and I are teenaged girls. They're a couple teen boys who travel together." Anna said

"But we get along a lot, too. To be honest, I don't know where I'd be if Anna wasn't always around" Misty said, sighing into her cup of coffee.

"Great. Misty's depressed today" Jade said.

"Nah. Just thoughtful is all. Maybe a little less psycho" Misty said, smiling half-heartedly.

"So what did you guys come here for?" Anna asked.

"Oh yeah" Al said

"We're here to drag you two to the movies" Jade said.

"Why drag us?" Misty asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Because we're going to see Pulse" Ed said

"WHAT!" Misty, Al, and Winry squeaked

"At's why we're dragging you" Jade said.

"You said we were seeing the documentary on automail!" Winry said.

"We lied" Ed said, crossing his arms proudly…. Which earned him a whack on the head from a wrench. Misty was about to go flying, but Anna grabbed her pony-tailed hair. Misty whimpered.

"But I don't wanna! I get scared just watching the commercials!" she said

"Too bad. I wanna see it, too" Anna said.

_LATER._

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HELP HELP HELP! KIDNAPPERS!" Misty shouted, being dragged to the movie theater.

"MISTY, SHUT UP!" Anna yelled.

"Man, this is annoying" Ed mumbled

"This has got to be illegal!" Misty shouted weakly. ".. OK. I'll go." Misty said. She stood up and walked for a bit, then jumped and hid in a mailbox. The big blue kind outside of post offices.

"DAMN IT MISTY GET OUT OF THAT SUPID THING!" Anna yelled.

"I'M NOT GOING! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" Misty yelled.

"I don't want to go, either" Al said.

"Why do we have to go, too!" Winry asked.

"Because it'll be weird if you don't!" Jade said.

"GET OUTTA THE MAILBOX BEFORE I TRANSMUTE IT INTO A SUBMARINE AND SHOVE YOU INTO THE OCEAN!" Ed threatened. Misty screamed and came shooting out.

"NO! NOT THE OCEAN! **NOT THE SCARYNESS OF FISH!**" Misty screamed. Anna slapped her forehead.

"Idiot" she mumbled.

'I've got an idea!" Winry said. "You three can go see the movie, and me, Misty, and Al can go home and play a nice, safe game of Checkers or something!" she said.

"Yeah!" al and Misty said quickly.

"OK! Good! That's settled! LATER!" Misty said and the three wusses… Uh.. I mean.. PEOPLE! Ran off.

"Geh--!... Oy" Jade mumbled.

_The House. O.o…_

"Man. All that over a stupid movie" Misty said angrily, standing infront of the oven in the kitchen

"Why'd they want us to go to see it so badly, anyway?" Al asked.

"Who knows?" Winry said. Misty sighed. She was stirring a boiling pot of water with spaghetti in it.

"Anna's got gonna sleep for week if she sees that movie" Misty said.

"Well… does she get scared easily?" Al asked.

"You've seen how she is! Her eyes are always the same – bored, pissed off, uncaring" Misty said.

"Yeah. So.. I don't know. How scary is it?" Al asked.

"**Really** scary, Al…." Winry said, shivering.

Suddenly, the door flew open

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Misty, Winry, and Al sassed and turned towards the door, just in time to see three people go flying under the couch, screaming.

"What the?..." Misty asked.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DUST BUNNY!" Anna screamed, rocketing out from under the couch and flying in to her room.

_**SLAM!**_

Misty, Al, and Winry stared. Ed was hiding under the couch and Jade was hiding behind a chair.

"N-n-n-n-not good…" Jade stammered. Misty slapped her forehead.

"I think they're traumatized" Al said

"I'll know what'll help!" Misty said. She jumped into action and got her laptop. "OK, EVERYONE! LISTEN UP!" she yelled. She clicked the mouse button, and "Riding Dirty" started playing. Everyone stared at the computer with wide eyes.

"MAKEITSTOP!" Jade yelled. Jade and Ed ran out sobbing. Misty was snickering mischievously. Winry looked confused. Al looked… like a suit of armor… O.o.

"What the…?" Winry asked

"Misty, I'm surprised you knew where that WAS on your computer!" Al said. Misty, instantly, stopped snickering.

"It's under my torture files."

**FIN!**

**OK, yeah. It was short and not very good. –sob- I'm sorry, but I'm out of ideas! People, I NEED ideas! GIMMEYOURIDEASORILLHITYOU!one. **

**Quickly.**

**Or face my Chihuahua-y wrath…. With socks.**

**THANK YEW!**

**Signed, your Lord-ESS, and MistrESS, Misty the half fox demon/State Alchemist/Writer/Actor/8th Grader/Big Sister/Your Superior. **


	8. Chapter 8, part 1! gaspeth!

**Ahem. Hello, everyone! –is now scared of her laptop, thanks to the comment _someone_ said- Well, I've been reading over things, and I've found that I'm more in here then any of the FMA characters. O.o. I was like "WTF is with THAT?". Then, of course, I got a review and I was like "O.O…". SO! I've decided to give us the boot. Therefore, it'll be the FMA characters, like the first chapter, from now on. Except for ones written in script format! **

**Anna: I've got a feeling things are gonna get seriously weird around here. O.o…**

**Misty: Wish us luck, people! Oh, one last thing. I'm rather odd, right? I write these psycho fanfics, but I love Fort Minor. xDDD. I guess you've gotta have a bit of everything to create something so psycho, huh? I've got happiness, depression, anger, every human emotion there could possibly be. But, God, you people don't care about this shit, so ON WITH THE FIC!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA… or Pee Wee's Playhouse… not that that's gonna come in at any time. Nope. Not ever. Nu-uh.**

Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, was staying at some ratty Inn with his brother, Alphonse Elric, the tin can, due to some lame mission Roy Mustang, Gay-Boy and Flame Alchemist, had assigned him because he was too lazy to do it himself! Well, Al was around somewhere. O.o. But not there, because that would screw up the upcoming joke. Well, Ed was bored. Al wasn't there and there was nothing to do. He stared at the wall for a moment, sitting on the bed. He lied on the floor with his feet on the bed. She tried to see if he could fit under the bed a few times, just to pass the time. He screwed around with his suitcase, occasionally cursing in frustration. He stared out the window for, what felt like, hours but was actually ten seconds. He banged his head on the wall a few times. Then he found a mirror! He stared at himself in the mirror for a while, bored.

"Since when do I wear such tight pants?" he mumbled to himself, turning around and looking at the mirror over his shoulder. "Weird." He said, turning back to face the mirror. "Hm… I think I liked my hair better green.. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME!" he yelled, running out of the room. He ran out of the Inn, screaming. Down the road, down the streets, and into a stop sign.

"Dude… what the hell!" **(A/N: -singing- Slip out the back before they know you were there, and at the worst you'll see nobody cares, 'cuase you don't wanna be around when it all goes down. Even heroes know when to be scared --…. Oh! Sorry! )** a female voice said.

"Ow" Ed mumbled, sitting on the ground.

"Man. Get some glasses" the girl said, looking at this weird, screaming, stop-sign-running-in-to midget.

"I don't need glasses!" Ed yelled, glaring at this girl.

"Whatever, dude." She said, continuing to walk.

"Damn little street monkey thinks she can.." Ed mumbled angrily to himself as he stood up and brushed himself off. "Well, things have been worse, I guess" Ed said, looking around. He crossed his arms. "OK.. .now where am I?" he asked himself.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ed spazzed. Someone had screamed. A girl. He turned to the left to see the same girl who had told him to get glasses running from something. She flew past him and tore around the corner, a tidal wave of Roy Mustangs…. Wearing pink tutus… Bad mental image!

"What in the name of… AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ed yelled, turning and running.

_Elsewhere._

"For the last time, sir, I am NOT a robot bent on taking over the world!" Al yelled. He was at the grocery store, and the manager was a little… special.

"BE GONE DEMON!" the manager shouted, pointing a mop at Al. Poor Alphonse sighed.

"Can I talk to the assistant manager?" he asked politely.

"BE GONE I SAY! **BEGONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**" The manager yelled. Al glared.

"Man, this is a waist of time" he said, turning around and walking away.

"Another demon vanquished by Inuyasha!" the manager said

".. Um… Boss?.. You're not Inuyasha" a employee said.

"FIRED! YOU'RE FIRED!" the manager yelled.

"AHHHHHH!" the employee screamed, running out the door. The manager crossed his arms.

"That's right. Run.. RUN!" he yelled, slamming the door.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What the?" the manager and employees said. They ran out of the store and saw the Roy Tutu Tidal Wave.

"HOLY---!" The manager yelled, before they were all hit and swept away in the heard of Roys along with Ed, Al, the some girl, and millions of towns people.

_What will become of these poor people? Why is there an army of Roy Mustangs wearing pink tutus! Why does the manager think he's Inuyasha! WHY AM I ASKING SO MANY DAMN QUESTIONS!_

_Only YOU can decide!... Well, I'll be deciding, BUT YOU SEND IN IDEAS!_

_Stay tuned to Misty's FMA Funnies to see what the hell's going on!_


	9. Chapter 8 part 2!

**Oh my GOD! D! I am _so_ sorry! It's been like… two months since I've updated, right! I am SO SORRY! –sob- xD No, really. O.o Sorry. See, I started 8th grade, my teacher's a Holy Bastard, my brother and sister-in-law got here, my life is a living hell, homework is piling up, I was crammed in an RV with my two sisters, my mom, my brother, a parrot, a cat, and a dog for a week, Anna and I have been shoved into Mom's room to make room for Josh and Dawn in our itty bitty two room house, and I could go on and on, but, you know, I'm sure this must get annoying as shit, so I'm just gonna shut up with my ranting.**

**Anyway, I'm on my way back home, in the RV. I went to Sedona, Arizona and the Grand Canyon. I went hiking _everywhere _and I can barely stand xD. I'm listening to random comedians on my brother's Sirious radio thing. O.o.. Yeah.**

**Anna says hi. O.o….**

**Oh, one last thing… DANE COOK OWNS YOU ALL!**

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah – Don't own FMA – blah blah blah laptop.**

"OK, now this is just getting ridiculous." One of the people in the Roy-Tutu tidal wave said.

"Yeah, really" an employee from the grocery store said. And right out of nowhere, an odd little giggle-chuckle could be heard. Everyone turned and saw Ed cracking up, hugging himself. The pupils of his eyes were different sizes (One's small, one's big). "Uhhh…." The employee said nervously.

"Hehehehehehehehehe…. Ehehehehehehehehehe!" Ed giggled happily. Then, what happened next no one could predict….. "AYEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!" Ed shouted, jumping into the air. Everyone screamed as the mini-Alchemist went flying and was then dancing on a streetlight.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Inu-Manager shouted.

"Brother!" Al shouted.

"Always knew he'd snap someday" A Roy said, nodding.

"Excuse me, Roy-clone, but would you let me down so I can get my brother?" Al asked.

_**CLANG!**_

The Roy-Cone tossed Al over and onto the ground. Hey, I guess the town isn't completely covered in Mustangs.

"Ow.." Al mumbled, standing up. "Brother, get down from there!"

"Coffeeh coffeeh coffeeh coffeeh!" Ed chanted, dancing in circles on the, rather large, streetlight.

_Elsewhere_

Misty and Anna were sitting on the couch of an RV **(A/N: At's right! Due to popular demand, I'm putting us back in, but keeping in mind this is a frikkin' /FMA/ story. ')**, looking bored as hell. Josh and their mother were singing along to that "I'm too sexy" song that always reminds you of Sesshoumaru. Then when you picture him acting out the song and singing, you just have to crack up… well that's what happens to me, anyway.

_Back with pandemonium _

"…Um… Hey…. I'm not a dog… lemme out?"

"Cram it, talking-dog!"

"But… But I'm not a dog!"

"I SAID CRAM IT, TALKING DOG!"

"But, for the last time, I'm not a Goddamn talking dog!"

"If I had a buck for every time I heard that…."

"You'd have a buck?"

"EXACTLY! NOT SHUT YER STUPED DOG-MOUTH!"

Other that the Roy stampede, the crazy streetlight-dancing Alchemist, and the crazy Inuyasha-Spirit-Manager; poor, chain-smoking Jean Havoc had been accused of being a dog, and was being hauled off to the pit of animal-hell – the humane society! (enter thunder and lightning here) He was sitting in the back of the truck with a chicken. Havoc blinked and sighed.

"I wonder if I could smoke a chicken feather…. Nah." He said, shaking his head.

"Dog's shouldn't smoke, Sparky" the guy dog-catcher said.

"One, I'm not a dog… two, my name is Jean Havoc… three… LEMME OUTTA HERE!" Jean shouted, kicking the side of the truck.

"NO! BAD DOG!"

_Pttttsssssssst!_

"AHHHHHHHH! OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! IN THE FACE! PEPPER SPRAY IN THE FACE! NOO! NOT FUN!"

**_WHACK, WHACK, WHACK!_**

"Huh… I've never seen a dog slam it's face into the side of a truck, before…."

_Back with the Elrics_

"Brother… come down nice and easy, OK? And don't throw any more soda cans at any innocent girls" Al said slowly. Ed was still dancing on the streetlight, and had somehow obtained a skirt. He was happily singing.

"_Imma model, ya know what I mean!_" he sang, spinning in a circle. Al sighed

"This is hopeless" he mumbled angrily. "I'd better call someone" he said, pulling out a quarter from nowhere.

"Who ya gonna call?" a random Roy asked.

"GHOST BUSTERS!" and, the guys from Ghostbusters, broke into the scene outta nowhere.

"No!" Al said, shoving the Ghostbusters from whence they came. "Now! To call some _real_ professionals." He said, putting the delicious monies into the monies eating phone machine thingy.

"_Hello?" _ came a voice over the phone

"Misty! Perfect! Ed's going bananas, and--…" Al started in a panicky voice.

"_Sorry, Al. I'm smack-dap in the middle of Arizona. Deal with it yourself for once!" _Misty growled bitterly

"Man, you're pissy today! What's the matter?" Al asked

"_Let's review, shall we, Al?.. I've been crammed in a mini-screaming-metal-death-trap with a mom who's driving me **off the fucking wall**, a brother who's a pain in the tail who loves to tease me – and you know how much I hate being teased - , a sister-in-law who never talks, but can still read my every thought and is TEN TIMES BETTER than me at the ghost-stuff, Anna – who I don't have a problem with – a parrot that curses in German, a cat that likes to chew on my **ear**, and a dog that hates me, FOR A WEEK OF HIKING IN AN OLD-PERSON TOWN!"_ Misty babbled on. Al kinda tuned in and out, getting distracted when a heard of Roys were dressed up as cows.

"Yeah, that's great an' all, Mist, but what do I do about Brother?"

"_DEAL WITH IT YOURSELF YA GOOD-FER-NOTHING HUNK OF TIN!"_

_**Click**_

"Perfect" Al mumbled sarcastically. "Juuust perfect. What am I gonna go now?" he asked himself. Ed continued dancing. Al started pacing back and forth. In the background, Breda was being chased by dogs, Riza was being attacked by cows, and Fuery was being chased by ravens – AKA – Big. Fucking. Black birds.

Well, meanwhile, Ed had been captured by policemen and hauled off to the prison for streaking.. .even thou was just dancing on a streetlight, not runnin' around nude. **(A/N: AH! O.O –just now spilled a monkeyload of cheez-it crumbs all over her laptop—spazzes and stares for a sec—turns her laptop over and whacks it on the bottom multiple times, trying to knock out the crumbs- Whew…)** Sorry fan girls!...?... I know. I'm disappointed, too. (Yeah. Sure.)….

Well, anyway.

_At the local prison_

"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen! Nobody knows my soorrowwwwww……" Ed sang, sitting in a jail cell. He pulled a harmonica out of his pocket and started banging it on the wall…. O.o.

"Ed! Ed! Is that you!" came a voice

"… Lieutenant Havoc?" Ed asked.

"Yes! It is you!" Havoc said from the cell next to Ed.

"How'd you end up in here?" Ed asked.

"Some idiot thought I was a dog.. and threw me in jail…" Havoc said. "..Got a cig on ya, by chance?"

"Nope. Sorry." Ed said. "..And why am I wearing a skirt?"

_Elsewhere._

"But I'm not a robot, for the last time!"

"Yeah. Sure, bub! Now get in the truck! We need more big ones like you in the academy"

"What academy?"

"The robot academy, stupid!"

"BUT I'M NOT A ROBOT!"

Al was being nagged by some old guy in a gray suit. Apparently, he was being dragged to a school for robots.

"IN THE TRUCK, DAMMIT!" The man said, tugging off Al's head and kicking him into the truck. "Eheheheheh" he chuckled as he got into the truck and drove off.

Meanwhile, the Roys were carrying the poor citizens to Minnesota, where they will proceed to break their necks, pour jelly over them, and sacrifice them to the God of Jelly – Dane Cook.

_Elsewhere… again._

"Imma jump out the window, Anna." Misty said. "I can't take much more of this" she said. Anna sighed, knowing her sister was going to go into another rant. "Not only did I find that my spirit guide is a _bunny_… but everyone else's are things that _eat_ bunnies! How fucked is _that_!

"AND I'm trapped in this damn screaming metal death trap with crazies! I wanna go home!" Misty continued to complain about her life and Anna started reading a book whilst petting Savannah, the unusually fluffy kitty that belongs to her brother and sister-in-law.

Suddenly, the RV stopped

"OK, guys! I gotta stop for gas – we're on a 1/4th of a tank." Their mom said, parking at a gas station. Misty and Anna blinked, watching as the adults left the car.

"… Let's go!" Misty said, jumping out of the RV, running and getting into the driver's side of the Geo tracker they were trailing being the RV. Anna unhooked the tow bar and got in the car.

"Hang on.. do you even know how to drive?" she asked.

"No, but I watch Mom all the time" Misty said happily.

"But it's a stick!" Anna said.

"I can drive a stick shift!" Misty said, starting up the car.

"But you don't even have a li—AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Anna yelled as Misty took off in the car.

_Minnesota_

"OK.. what now, boss?" an employee of the grocery store asked. The Inuyasha possessed Manager pulled out a violin.

"What else! WE DANCE!" he shouted, and started playing the violin and dancing like an Irish tap dancer on top of a Roy's head. He was suddenly in a plaid man-miniskirt – AKA, a kilt. O.o

"Oooohhh! Tap dancing man skirt!" the Roy said happily, clapping his hands together. The employees slapped their foreheads and sighed, unable to believe that they have to work for this guy, and are in a tidal wave of gay Colonels. It was now that the little purple-blue Geo Tracker came plowing in, running over Roys and scattering them. At the wheel, was the 13-year-old Misty, looking at a map while she drove illegally. Anna was screaming her lungs off and then clapped her hands over her eyes.

"MISTY! DRIVE THE CAR!" she shouted, grabbing the map.

"Whoa!" Misty said, eyes wide. "What are all these Roys here for!... AND WHY ARE THEY WEARING TUTUS!" she asked.

"Hell if _I_ know!" Anna said.

_Prison_

"Got any threes?"

"Go fish"

"Dammit…"

Ed and Havoc were locked in a thrilling game of Go Fish. Still stuck in the prison cells, they were two bored men. A prison guard walked up.

"Edward Elric and Jean Havoc; you've made bail" he said.

"Huh!" they asked.

"Yours free to go" the man said, opening up the doors.

"FREEDOM!" they yelled, running out.

So, with Ed and Havoc free, the Roy problem taken care of, Misty and Anna wreaking havoc on the world, the Inu-Manager and his employees dancing, and Al safely tucked away in The Robot Academy, the world is... Somewhat safe again.

**TADAAAA!**

**Once again, I am _so_ sorry this one took so long to put out! The good news is, I made it a nice length! 7 pages!**

**I give credit where credit is due, people. :D**

**Not much to say, t'day. So.. .Here ya go. Laters!**

**- Misty**


	10. The great adventure of Winry Rockbell!

**Hello my friends and all who adore me! Misty's back with a whole new rap!... Um… Fic! Sorry it took a bit to get it up. I've been a bit short on inspiration. Lately, I've been in love with drawing pictures of Movie!Ed, Movie!Al, and Move!Roy, so I haven't been writing too much. I got the CoS (Aka, the FMA movie)! Happy happy! Uhm…. Dunno what much to say xD. So…. Imma just start the story.**

**Disclaimer: Once again, I own /nothing/…. I don't think I'm even allowed to draw pictures o.o'….**

**-**

It was a cold October morning in Risenbool (Or however the monkey you wanna spell it), and Winry was working on some new automail **(A/N: Yup! Imma use Winry, because she's been neglected… sorta. –sigh- I guess I have to do a Rose one, too… and one with Humunculisseseses… MAN! TOO MUCH TO DO! Dx)**. Of course, she was always trying to improve her skills for Ed. That idiot went out and got himself killed atleadt five times this month! And it was only the 16th! The blond automail mechanic gave a heavy sigh. She knew he'd just go and ruin this arm, too, just like the, what seemed like, millions before it. She'd have to make him pay extra for this one!

"Well, Winry. You've been working hard" Pinako, the only living organism shorter that the Fullmetal Pipsqueak himself, said.

"Well, maybe if I work a little harder on this, I can prolong Ed's death" Winry said sarcastically **(A/N: -listening to "Breathe (2 AM)"- I love this song)**.

"Alright… just don't kill yourself over it" Pinako said, leaving the room. Winry waiting until she was sure she was gone then sighed and returned to her work.

"I don't see why I put up with this. All he does is come all of a sudden, expect me to fix his stupid arm and leg, and then leaves as soon as possible! He only calls when he stupid needs repairs, and never tells me anything when I _do_ talk to him!" she gave an angry, huffy sigh.

_Knock knock knock!_

"And who in the name of Automail could _that_ be!" Winry asked herself, walking over to the door. She opened it.

"You know – you really shouldn't talk to yourself so much, Win. It get's people thinkin'" The annoyance at the door, AKA Misty, said.

"Great. It's you" Winry mumbled flatly. "C'mon in" she said. Misty walked in happily, practically skipping.

"Workin' on automail again, hmmmm?" the colossal annoyance said.

"Yes, and touch it and I'll use your head for wrench target practice!" Winry threatened.

"Tsk tsk tsk. Well _someone's_ touchy" **(A/N: This is for all you girls about 13 – Highschool can be so rough, can be so mean. Hold on to, on to, your innocence. Stand your ground when everybody's givin' in… This one's for the girls!... Sorry! Right – the fanfic. Sorry – got sidetracked. Anyone ever hear that song? My God, it just lights my heart up. It's "This one's for the girls" by Martina McBride. Look it up on if you're a girl, that is and listen to it. It's just so… I dunno. Just… like… I can't even think of a word! It's just wonderful. And if you see the anime girl version when Martina sings "Who love without holding back", Hinata from Naruto is like pulling Naruto, and it just fits so perfectly.)** Misty said, folding her arms **(A/N: Y'know what? Just look me up on Youtube – Mistythefox. Check out my favorites part, and look at those.)**. Winry just glared and went back to work.

"What do you want, Misty?" she asked angrily.

"What? A girl can't visit her friend?" Misty asked.

"If you haven't noticed, I'm kinda in a bad mood" Winry said.

"Would it make you feel better if I sang a song?" Misty asked.

"No, I don't think—..!"

"There's a place of Ocean avenue where I used to sit and—.."

_**Biff**_

Winry tossed Misty out of the house, causing her to land flat on her "tail".

"…Well if you wanted me to leave, you shoulda just said so!" Misty shouted, standing and shaking her fist at the house before storming off.

"Man, what a pain" Winry mumbled as she adjusted her gloves

"**_MUSICAL MONTAGE!"_(For your info, there are about 20 exclamation points here)** a high, shrill voice shouted, causing Winry to spazz. **(NOW it's gonna get good!)** Running outside, she saw Misty… in… a… pirate's costume. -.-'.

"_So if we all come together, we know what to do, we all come together just to sing we love you, and if we all come together, we know what to do, we all know what to do just for you" _a chorus of Roys sang, all in pirate outfits.

"They've seen all around the seven seas, chasing all the girls and making robberies. Causing panic everywhere they go; party hearty on titanic" Misty sang. Dancing pickles were dressed in pirate outfits as well, doing the cancan in a row infront of the Roys. Winry stared, wide eyed.

Misty suddenly pulled out a sword and dances around happily as the Roys sang. Suddenly, the song switched and the Roys were dressed in pink suits. Misty was now dressed in a white tanktop and a pink mini with a pink bow in her hair.

"Ho ha! Hoah!" The Roys.. sang?

"Nananananana nanananananananana . Have you ever been in love?" Misty sang in an unusually odd voice

"Whoah!" the Roys said

"He's my best friend, best of all friends, do you have a best friend too? It tickles in my tummy he's so yummy yummy" Misty continued on, eyes closed happily. One again, the music screeched to a halt, only it didn't start up again.

"Hey! What in the sugarpop happened to my music!" Misty asked. The camera seemed to turn to another Misty. She was wearing a pair of black running shoes, a pair of blue jeans, a black T shirt, a black jacket, and a black sports cap on backwards.

"DAMMIT! HAPPY!MISTY! YOU SHOULD BE ARRESTED!" she yelled.

"B-but Anger!Misty..! I was just trying to--…!" the pink Misty said.

"SILENCE, FERRET! YOU'RE IMPOSIBLE!" the black Misty yelled. Another Misty walked up. Wearing a yellow tank top, a yellow headband, and a pair of white shorts and white tennis shoes.

"W-w-w-w-why is –t-t-t-there y-yelling?" the yellow Misty asked.

"Great. Now Spazz!Misty's here" Anger!Misty said.

_**POP!**_

They all suddenly vanished.

"What the!" Winry asked. Bewildered, she wandered back into the house.

"SO IF WE ALL COME TOGETHER!" A pickle squeaked, running into a mouse hole with a cracker. Winry stared for a moment.

".. Maybe I've been working a little overtime on this automail" she said nervously. The doorbell rang. "I'll get it!"

Winry strolled over to the door and opened it. Roy Mustang, only one of them, was standing there.

"Um.. hello, is a Miss Winry Rockbell here?" he asked.

"That'd be me" Winry said, putting her hands on her hips. "What do you want?"

"Well, I've been asked to pick you up. We need you to hurry to Central immediately" Roy said.

"Wha? Why?" Winry asked.

"You can ask questions on the way there".

**-**

**And so begins the great journey of Winry Rockbell!... Yeah. **

**Sorry it's so short, guys. It's 3:45 in the morning, and Imma little brain-dead. I'll do better next time – I promise! Love ya all!**

**REVIEW OR BE PUNISHED BY THE GODS OF JELLEH!**

**- your lordess and mistress, Misty**


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